


No that's MY giant horse; The Redux

by Sevaunt



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Autistic Reader, Female Reader, Isekai, Link is not mute, Mentions of Death, Panic Attacks, Reader Insert, Snarky Reader, congrats if you read all that lol, cursing, i hope not this is already a bunch but i might have missed something, link is a snarky chaotic well meaning twunk, more tags to maybe be added, nerd reader, no smut in this work sorry, our world reader goes to hyrule, reader - Freeform, reader can and will use snark and jokes to cope with shit, reader can be whiny, reader is the living example of do no harm but take no shit, those relationships will be every type from friends to romance, well maybe romance that is up yo the reader muse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:48:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21531742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevaunt/pseuds/Sevaunt
Summary: A rewrite of No that's my giant horse but from the beginning of reader's misadventures.Fallen into hyrule in some isekai styled bs you join Link on his adventure to save hyrule. Well more like you get dragged into it and do your best to stay alive and make sure Link doesn't drown in the pressure of being an amnesiac hero. References, memes, and nerdy stuff ahead in this hopefully comedy gold.
Relationships: Reader/Ganon, Reader/Link, Reader/Sidon, reader/zelda
Comments: 45
Kudos: 259





	1. Chapter 1

A nerd, that is what you proudly called yourself; but you willingly went by dork as well. Your life consisted of sarcasm, memes, and all things video games with maybe a touch of moves and anime.. .okay a lot. 

Despite that you were grounded in reality for the most part, life wouldn't let you live happily in your head after all. As every other human you required food, water, and various things like housing and electricity. Which has lead you to your current place in time. At work in a shabby walmart stocking the shelves and praying no customer came up to you. 

The influx in entitled customers here in early black Friday sale season had left you drained and short tempered but you bit your tongue and smiled as you planned their fictional murder. Well murder for the really bad ones and verbal beat downs for the others. Nive customers were rare but gods did they make the day a little easier to deal with and restore a little faith in people. It was sad basic kindness was so hard to get as a worker bee. 

Still when your clock out time came you bolted for the back room to log your hours and then flee from this hell hole of over work and under pay. As soon as you left the building free for the first time in twelve hours you breathed, did the air get better with the brief taste of freedom between shifts? Yes. Yes it very much did. 

Arriving home you didn't bother with food, too tired and worn out you bathed and headed to bed. But as tired as you were sleep didn't come easy. So what else would you do besides bust out your switch. Too lazy to change games you found yourself back in hyrule, "Shit how did I forget I started the game over?" You groaned cursing past you as right now all you wanted was to hunt some talos. Fuck Lynel hunting too much stress for tired you. 

Regardless you played enjoying the simple tutorials of the beginning of the game. Having done it so many times the familiarity brought a sense of peace. You didn't even notice yourself drifting off to sleep. 

You were falling but not, surrounded by darkness unable to open your eyes you simply existed.

'Holy shit am I in the void?' Your body was weightless and you could feel nothing and the words you tried to say died on your lips to remain a thought. 'I know I always say void take me but I never thought it would fucking happen!'

All the nothingness faded into a blue light that you could see beyond your eyelids; and suddenly to made contact with a very hard surface. "Slap my ass and call me Cindy…" you groaned the words as you opened your eyes to take in wherever you were. 

The room was mostly barren save a shrine of sorts and a man…"Link?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get started with this chapter I'd just like to thank everyone for their kudos! It is much appreciated. 
> 
> Another note is at the end of the chapter please read that for some important info :3

The two of you stared at each other for what felt like hours before he voiced your own thought, "What in the world?" Granted you would have used more expletives. But hey this was a shitty situation and you were stressed you deserved to curse!

You finally got off the floor marveling at how real this very obviously a dream felt, you even felt the pain of the fall! "Man this is one vivid dream…" You walked over to Link and did as you had always wanted to do; you ruffled his hair and gasped. "So soft!"

Your hand was swiftly pushed aside by an uncomfortable and distressed Link who wanted nothing more to know why a woman fell from the shrine rather then the normal spirit orb...and why she thought it was a dream. "Are you sent by the goddess?"

"No I'm just dreaming, never had one this vivid before. I mean it just feels so real and normally when I dream people already know me." 

"This isn't a dream why would you even think that." He had a hard time considering you as not sent by some sort of other worldly force given your odd clothing and lack of pointed ears. "What are you?"

"I am a human but I prefer my name [y/n]. And before you ask again I'm just a person not some godly force." At least you didn't think so. But it was a dream… right? It was too impossible to be elsewise. 

"Human? Never heard of one of those." Link got closer circling you and obviously sizing you up. Was he looking for malice, or if you were a threat..probably both. 

Lucky for you, you seemed to pass whatever inspection Link was doing. And as if to prove a point he walked over and pinched you. 

"Ow! What gives and how do you pinch so hard?!" Seriously he had such a strong grip for just a couple of fingers. That was weird pinches never hurt in dreams though, normally it was just stuff ache from before bed that it added.

"See not a dream." Link looked smug, sure it was something silly to be smug over but eh; little victories. 

"I-" you what? What could you say to that? You didn't want to believe this based on a simple pinch. "Okay say this isn't a dream and I'm somehow magically in Hyrule in a damn game; What caused it, and why? I'm not special I just hyper focus on things. Sure I know the answer to every shrine, divine beast, and hidden secret but I can't fight worth a damn."

"You what?!" Link was dumb founded but what else could he be when you just admitted to knowing everything he needed to know! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting next chapter it will be linear drabble and each chapter will have a brief summary of what happened between chapters. 
> 
> Also I have decided Reader will get a power, but the power is kinda a pain for reader; literally. It wont help with combat but it will make for some good what the fuck moments and an increase in survival rate.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a week since you 'fell' into Link's life. The first day you were still convinced it was a dream but when the second day and soon after third day happened you came to realize something was off. The cut from the stray arrow of a bokoblin seemed to have cemented the fact that you were indeed not dreaming. You had been silent holding back a panic attack to end all panic attacks for a few days now, but Link had apparently decided enough was enough. 

"You've been awfully quiet since you got shot." At first Link had found it kind of nice after you had excitedly told him a vast majority of what you knew. A good chunk seemed impossible but when you had told him of his first trials since waking up and triggered a memory from the shiekah slate photos without traveling to the spot. He decided your words had a bit more to them then madness. 

You huffed, "Well excuse me I happen to be trying to stay calm and come to terms with the entire not dreaming thing."

"Still it's a little unsettling for someone who talked so much earlier." This was his way of showing concern without it looking like pity. Since last time he showed you pity you had snapped at him. 

"I-" he had a point; you were being kind of rude. After all he had to deal with amnesia, saving his world, and now you who broke his fourth wall so to speak. "I don't usually talk too much normally. I was just excited like a puppy going to play for the first time." 

"You mean like how this is a game." He snarked at you. It was a bit passive aggressive but he was under a lot of pressure. 

"Do I have to explain the multiverse theory again?"

"Goddess no my head still hurts at just the name." Seriously you had tried your best to explain but Link as smart as he was, had a mental block. 

"Yeah sorry about that, but at least it's better than not existing right? And as far as dimensions to be thrown into as dangerous as yours is, it's still better than some others." You shudder at the ideas of certain animes and books you could have wound up in. 

Still it got a flat loom from Link who wasn't happy at the better then some comment.

"Look somewhere out in the multiverse there is a world where no one ever dies, your biggest threat is a bee sting, and you make millions selling fruit. And your neighbors are cute animals!" You kinda wish you had fallen into the animal crossing world. 

"Animals huh?" 

"Yeah but they are all as smart as us and stand on their hind legs. Honestly I think you would like it there. It's an easy life and maker knows you need a break." Seriously poor guy was swamped with fuck yous life was throwing his way. You weren't going to tell him about wolf Link. Wait did amiibo stuff effect things still like would he be able to summon stuff with his slate?

"Sounds nice actually. Bees are the least problem here." But fate was not so kind to him as to let him live in peace. 

"Seriously my dude I don't know what you did to the goddess so many lives back to be stuck with the triforce. But I suppose if I was a goddess I'd pick you too. Your too stubborn to quit which is what the world needs."

"Is there a reason you've been staring at the slate?" Yes he caught you looking. 

"C-can I see it?"

"You are seeing it." Oh no smug elf wanna be is using borderline dad jokes. 

You huffed, "You know exactly what I mean Link. I wanna see what it can do."

"You know what it does." Or so your tale claimed. 

"Oh sod off its different knowing then experiencing. Besides I want to see just how many work around and exploits will work in real life." Since this was real life. 

He stopped walking which made you stop as well. "Exploits? This thing has exploits?"

"Tell me Link have you ever wanted to fly?" Messing around with the slate should keep your mind off of shit. 

"I'm listening…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have set things up well enough for it to go into linear drabble format.   
> Coming soon to hyrule chaos thy name is Link.


	4. Flight part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to get a little something out here as a thank you for all the support. It's short but this drabble will have a part 2 which will be longer.

You were never one to think you were a chaotic person, hell you were kind and did your best to make sure everyone was okay. So you looked at the giant metal door Link found and wondered if maybe you shouldn't have suggested this. But that gremlin voice in your soul really wanted to know if this would work. 

"So all I have to do is stand in this and use magnisis to lift and control it?" Link was obviously skeptical but he was staring so hard and so longingly at the door you knew he wanted it to work. 

"Should work. I wouldn't do more than a few inches to start just incase." Last thing you wanted was to be the reason the hero died. 

Link nodded and stepped on to the door. He looked confident; so that was a good thing. You watched on in anticipation this was either a dimension the exploit was patched you you just made traveling through hyrule easier. 

The light enveloped the door and slowly it rose a few inches Link on top. "It's working! It's working!" That was the happiest you'd ever seen any incarnation of Link. With out warning and against your advice he went higher, and higher. 

"Oh fuck I lost the hero of time… LINK!!!" You ran after the laughing blob in the sky. Why you could hear him still you had no clue. "LINK GET BACK HERE!" 

You yelling seemed to catch his attention at least. "How do I land this thing?" Normally he just turned off the slate obviously that wasn't going to work this time. 

"Fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wanted to chat with me about the story or make requests for multiple fandoms I run a headcanon blog on Tumblr. 
> 
> Josnhoes.tumblr.com 
> 
> Its a lot of pokemon and yandere stuff right now but I write for more then that and for non yandere as well. It just seems to be the most popular right now.


	5. Flight part 2

"Okay Link I'm going to need you to move the door over that lake. I really don't want you dying while trying to figure this out." You were pretty damn sure Zelda would unleash the blight itself on you. Luckily Link listened to you and slowly moved his flight to be over the small lake you had found the door in. 

"Now what?" Someone help this poor man he was stuck listening to you. Sure you normally were pretty good at playing things smart back home. But here the idea of all the things you could try with the slate that inner chaotic goblin in your soul was rearing it's excited little head. You always knew your curiosity would get you into shit, well in this case Link was the one suffering. 

"Okay I want you to slowly use the slate to push the door down. SLOWLY Link." You watched on anxiety bubbling in your chest, sure the water would save him worse comes to worse but it was still nerve wracking. 

Link did as told and whooped when it was working, and as soon as he landed he ran to you. "It worked it worked I flew!" He scooped you up twirling just so excited. 

You clung to him, "Oh my god Link please don't drop me!" When was the last time you were lifted like this? You honestly couldn't remember. Damn. 

"You next, let's both fly!" Link was buzzing and you could see the sparkles. "Please?"

He may have said please but he was already carrying you to the door. "I dunno Link you had a paraglider..I don't." Why didn't you both think of that when he was trying to get down?

"We know it works you'll be fine besides this way we can just zip along to the next town and get you some less.. Eye catching clothing." He liked your clothing but it did garner a lot of attention. He was right. 

"Fine fine but if I fall and die I'm haunting you. The princess can wait in line." And the other champions. 

Cautiously you got on the door practically trying to cling to it like a life line. Link just laughed and jumped on as he activated the sheikah slate and you both were off. Watching the ground get further and further away you regretted telling him about this. 

"Calm down you look like your going to pass out." He was coming from the right place but fuck it you didn't want to punch him. "Don't glare like that." And now he was laughing. 

"Stupid elf boy." You huffed under your breath and mentally bid the last of your sanity good bye. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken so long to get anything out. Life has been hard with family drama and on and off illness.   
> This chapter is way shorter then I wanted but I wanted to get something out for you guys since I'd gotten so much support.   
> I will be doing a part two to this chapter.
> 
> I do write more often on my tumblr account josnhoes it is a multifandom imagines blog. I write nfsw there too ;3c So if y'all have a tumblr and want to make some requests HMU over there.

You were a nice person, sure a little snarky at times but you liked to believe with your big heart you made up for it. Which is why you felt this cruel punishment was inhumane or inhylian? The punishment was hunger. 

Link had promised to stop for lunch hours ago but had gotten distracted by a few little missions for folks. Curse his too large heart and inability to say no. 

"Link we need to stop and eat." She cut him off before he could speak. "No don't argue with me, we both have been chasing frogs and crickets for hours and we missed breakfast. And while you despite eating like a blackhole can go long periods without food I can't. We either eat now or I'm going to get sick." 

The blonde instantly looked guilty obviously having lost track of time and had completely spaced on food. "Sorry… but we also don't have any food. We used it up yesterday." 

"That's not a problem we have a lake right there." 

"Do you plan on swimming after fish? Because even if I do it it will take a few hours."

"It'll take ten seconds maybe 30. Just toss a bomb in. Blow the fish out of the water!"

Link opened his mouth to give a retort but faulterd. How had he never thought of this? He the guy who used bombs and fire arrows to solve his problems. 

"When we're you going to mention this?" Link was certain now you needed to just spill the beans on all your little life cheats. 

"I thought you knew and just liked swimming." 


	7. Chapter 7

"Okay so toss or place a bomb over here. Then go to the other side of the pond and do your horse whistle." You were adding an extra step but you wanted all the fish. The ones you didn't cook and eat you could sell and both Link and yourself really needed some patching up on your clothing. Mostly you. 

"Whistle to scare the fish?" Link guessed and you nodded. 

He followed your instructions and while you expected the fish to be expelled from the pond some, you did not expect the hylian bass to the face or the force to knock you onto the ground. 

"We cook this one first." From your spot on the ground you held up the dead fish. The hero of time broke down into laughter. The method had been effective...very effective but just the look on your face as you held up the offended fish was too good not to laugh at. 

"Oh har dee harhar laugh it up. Some hero you are laughing at a poor innocent maiden such as myself." The sarcasm dripped from your words. Which only led the man to laugh harder. 

You wanted to be mad at him for laughing but at the same time you were aware that he had the world on his shoulders and needed the small moments to stay sane. Though when he snorted you couldn't help but start laughing too. 

After you both calmed down the cooking began. While usually Link was in charge of the fire you had taken that job since you had never cooked a fish in your life. Well you had but not fresh from catch, usually you bought filets from the store with no bones. 

"So tomorrow we head to the Zora domain right?" Tomorrow the true adventure began and as the truth set in so did worries. 

Link nodded, "Yup you can stay at the stables if you'd like." 

As much as you wanted to stay safe you shook your head, "No shaking me that easy I still have to find out if sharkmen have two dicks." You took great pleasure in the sputtering and wheezing that came from the blond. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot sorta begins. Also Sidon has 2 dicks and y'all can fight my monster fucking butt if need be.   
> But for real don't know when the next chapter will be, high key tempted to do a full chapter of reader and Link talking shark dick.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you and Link talk sexuality and adopt each other.

The start of the journey to the domain was quiet. Link deep in thought on something you assumed was serious. 

"Link...you okay?" Your voice was filled with concern for the blond. He was under an awful lot of stress and expectations of being a hero. 

You got a quiet response, "Do you really think they have two dicks?" 

He caught you off guard to the point you almost fell off the horse, who was thankfully only trotting along. You weezed loudly in shock. 

"Is that really what has you so focused and serious? My two dick comment?" You knew he was a feral gremlin too but you didn't expect this. 

"Yes! You can't just say two dicks and not expect me to contemplate it! I'm not sure if it's true if I should be jealous or.." He trailed off and you could see the blush on his ears. 

"You wanna get fucked by two dick fish cock? Because mood. But seriously don't be ashamed the Zora people are super attractive."

"It's not that. I mean it is but don't you think it's weird? The hero of hyrule unable to pick between men and women?"

"Baby doll no that just means your bi and the fish in the sea for you just doubled. Embrace it and enjoy all the tiddies and dick you want. But I won't tell anyone, if you want to come out to others that's for you to pick who."

Link stopped the horse for a second and took a second to consider your words. He was touched at what you had said and really appreciated the fact you'd not spread the word despite it being juicy gossip.but he couldn't help it, "Baby doll really?" He chuckled a little.

"Don't mind that it just kinda felt right. Might be a southern thing. You know like, 'baby doll bless your heart'." He didn't need to know it was a low key way of calling someone silly dumb. 

"You did not just 'bless your heart' me." Oh no he knew and you were on a horse with him. "I'm tempted to just leave you here for that." He wasn't going to. 

"Would you have prefered I call you Bro?" Now you knew at least that hyrule had the classic American southern bell speak. 

"Only if I'm adopting you."

"Big bro?"

"Yes big bro."

You'd never hugged anyone harder and Link could swear you broke one of his ribs. 


	9. I'm stimming in the rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for all the support I have received in regards to this story. I'm also so sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I won't go into details but between family and life troubles, I've also been dealing with rapid shifts of hyperfocuses making it hard to write.   
> Most of my writing is on my imagines blog on tumblr. Even got brave and wrote some smutty stuff! I'll try to update here more often though. I just can't make any promises because hyperfixation is a fickle muse lol. 
> 
> And a special shout out to all my fellow autistic peeps who have found joy in this story. Thank you.

There was one thing you had forgotten about hyrule. And that was the storms and how common they were. And while yeah rain sucked it was the thunder that had you jumpy. You had begged Link to stop and take shelter and he had fought it until he saw how close to tears you were. 

So here you both were in a very small opening in a cliff. Not big enough to be a cave but enough to stay mostly dry in. Every lightning strike filled you with dread and the booming thunder after had you jumping out of your skin. 

"Are you okay?" Link had only seen one person with this big of a fear of lightning. And she didn't do whatever it was you were doing. 

"Yup totally fine why do you ask?" 

"You're doing weird things with your hands."

That shocked you back to reality rather than your mental safe place of ignoring the storm. You had been stimming. You hadn't even realized but the unmistakable snaps of you fingers, popping of your wrist, and the addition of a bouncy leg was suddenly very much a thing. And you felt you face heat up at the comment. 

"S-sorry…I uh…" So rarely did you look so ashamed in fact Link had not seen it besides the moment when you accidentally pull his hair trying to get a twig out. And you didn't look this bad. 

"Is it something you aren't supposed to do?" He understood the leg thing, obviously you were antsy from the storm. The thing with your hands not so much. 

"Do people in hyrule not stim?" Did hyrule not have autism? They had to right?

"Uh no. Well some people do like you but I didn't know there was a word for it."

"There is but um basically I do it to help get out my antsy energy and to help calm down. I get scared badly by loud noises. They go through my skull and heart and it hurts. But um my stimming is just how I handle the overflow of whatever strong emotion I have." 

"So right now you're really scared?" Link couldn't fight the storm and he didn't have any way to comfort you. He couldn't help but feel bad. 

"Yeah that's why I begged to stop. I can stop stimming…" It would be hard but you could, you'd gotten used to it annoying people or scaring them. 

"If it helps then keep doing it. But if you want I can teach you some hylian string games." He figured it'd keep your mind and limbs busy which would hopefully keep your panic and energy down. 

"Like cat's cradle?" You'd always enjoyed fiddling with things. 

"Sort of yeah. Hang on." He went to his saddle bag and pulled out some sting. "Put your hands up." 

You obliged him and with his help the next few hours were filled with him showing you how to make various string shapes. 

"Can I keep this?" The string had proved to be the perfect fidget tool. 

"Sure it's just string. I can get more at the next town. You feel better?" The storm had let up at some point but you hadn't even noticed. 

"Yeah. Thank you Link."

"No problem. Next time just tell me if you're scared. Now let's go figure out if zora's have two dicks." He smiled at the laugh you gave. 

"Maybe I should ask Sidon or the King directly?"

"Please do not do that." 


End file.
